in 2011 post Scout’s aortic root replacement
Five years ago, on June 11th Gabe picked up a camera and decided to shoot Scout’s exit from her stay at Johns Hopkins hospital after her aortic root replacement. She had been in for almost a month because of complications. We then got to bring her home to Nashville after a week or so of post-hospitalization check-ups.
So much has happened since then. She’s come so far.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the Israelite’s wilderness journey. How we today can look at them when we have the written story and perspective they didn’t have. They were just walking around living it. They didn’t know how getting to the land that God promised them was going to play out. It was a long and difficult journey. They would experience miracles and God’s provision, but still become ungrateful, discouraged, and let fear or frustration guide their decisions.
We have the luxury of looking at that story as a whole and give our criticisms on why they were so forgetful. I don’t get to see the whole story of the life God is writing for me, Scout, my family. God has brought her through so much. Through this journey, He has made us better and more compassionate people and parents. He has shown us how to love better, find joy in every moment, really taste this life He gives and savor it. I don’t want to forget that or take that for granted, but somehow, sometimes, I still do.
Scout in the front field this spring
So, for me, I needed to make a new video. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to remind myself of what He has done in the past 5 years. The edit is really not up to my standards, and frankly, it’s because I couldn’t handle all of the emotion I feel when I watch it over and over through the editing process. Because it’s our journey and our perspective and we lived through the moments in those clips. So I had to stop picking at it and just let it go. But I just felt like I had to do it, so I don’t become ungrateful, so I can reflect, but also celebrate how far she has come.
Scout trying to keep Ash from blowing out her seven birthday candles this March
Thank you for walking with us through our journey these past five years. You are our village and we need you. You teach us about God’s love all of the time and how to live and walk that out better.
One day, I was having a conversation about miracles with Gabe. How one would define a miracle. You know, because you don’t really hear about seas parting to where people can walk right through it anymore. Scout kept trying to interrupt us, and I was all like, “Adults are talking” (or some junk like that). And then I looked at her to let her say what she wanted to say. She took my face and put her lips to my ear and whispered, “Mom. I’m your miracle”.